brownies for yo face.

Currently, I'm sitting on the couch wearing a homemade face mask, and watching Bridezillas with my mom. Just call me Little Edie.  I've been watching trash tv aaaalllll day. Which brings me to my next point... I was watching 16 and Pregnant earlier (that show is so funny, in a way that I don't think is meant to be funny) and they were sitting around with face masks on, and I thought to myself... "Self, you need to put a face mask on. Right now. That looks wonderfully refreshing." So I went to handy dandy Google, and looked up all natural face masks, and alas, I found a whole list of awesome homemade masks. Recipe time!

C&C facial mask (vegan friendly!)

Coffee and cocoa are the two main ingredients in this recipe. As a combination, they decrease puffiness in the face and the eye area, brighten skin and wake up a dull-ish complexion (oh hey thanks, caffeine!)
ingredients:
-four tablespoons finely ground espresso or coffee beans

-four tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder (I totally put five in by accident. I was conversing with my mom about all the DIYs I'm filling my room with..and I totally lost track. Try not to be as easily distracted as I am.)

-8 tablespoons of some dairy product. Choose whole milk, heavy cream, plain yogurt, almond milk or coconut milk. Use less dairy if you like a thicker paste. Substitutions: Try an egg instead, or substitute oils, like olive oil, extra virgin coconut oil or almond oil if you have dehydrated skin. If you're going to use an oil, use 4 tablespoons instead of 8. Unless you carelessly put five tablespoons of cocoa powder in, then put 5 of the oil in. But who would make that mistake, right?

-2 tablespoons of honey (not so vegan friendly) if you have dry skin, or 2 tablespoons of lemon juice, if you have oily skin! 

directions:
If you have whole beans, finely grind beans in a grinder. They HAVE to be finely ground, so they don't scratch your face. 
Mix coffee and cocoa powder in a bowl.
Add the dairy or oil and stir until a smooth paste forms. You can use less of the dairy or oil if you like a thicker paste.
Stir in the honey or lemon.
Apply the paste to your face.
Watch about half an episode of Bridezillas and have your mom take some crazy pictures of your face. (in other words, wait thirty minutes.)
Wet a washcloth and press it to your face to loosen the mask, then rinse with warm water. If you have sensitive skin, you should avoid rubbing your face because the coffee grounds could potentially scratch your skin. 
You can store the leftover paste in the refrigerator for several days.
note: although the ingredients are perfectly edible... Do. Not. Eat. You will end up gagging a little,and proceed to chug a whole lot of water . I may or may not know this from personal experience. 
verdict: This face mask was super wonderful. After I washed it off, my face felt the softest it's ever been! My complexion looked brighter. Now, I provide you with a picture:

Yes, I realize what that looks like. I do indeed. I hope this provides you with a good laugh. While it's on, your face will totally smell like a brownie.

 In other news, I stopped my cleanse a day early. I just couldn't take it anymore. I got incredibly sick today, and that was it for me. I broke it with some whole wheat toast with mashed avocado and a sprinkle of sea salt and pepper. I regret nothing. It was so tasty. I'm proud of myself for lasting as long as I did. I kept it up for longer than I thought I would, and surprisingly... I do feel better after these five (and a half) days. Minus the sickness. After I got some toast in me though, the sick feeling went away. I highly recommend a smoothie detox, unless you're prone to crankiness. And if you aren't a fan of super healthy food.

Anyways, in the next week, I'm introducing a new feature to my blog. Can you say outfit posts? Heck yeah!

I leave you with a super wonderful cat gif. You're welcome. (via i heart cat gifs)


2 comments:

  1. Awesome picture. Jeremy thinks you are racist.

    My favorite facial mask is brown sugar mixed with honey. I've never tried eating it.

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  2. It looks like I stuck my face in a pile of poo.

    Oh, I want to try that! I bet it smells yummy.

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